50 Shades of Grey

The last couple of months I noticed that my wife was reading a little more than usual.  Sure she always reads, but I can tell when she is reading one of those books that captivates her.  And one evening I said, "That must be a great book"!  And she smiled almost embarrassingly and said, yes.  Being a man I didn't ask any more questions, because I don't need details.  OR MAYBE I DID!  Because last week I asked her if she had heard of a book that everyone was talking about by E.L. James called, 50 Shades of Grey?  She then turned 50 shades of red and admitted to me that she had read the book.  It was the book that had her so captivated! 

We are not the types to judge each other so I’m not sure why she didn’t tell me that she was reading it.  I did find out why she was a little embarrassed. It turned out that the book is about some dude who sexes up the ladies or a lady...a lot!  And to make the storyline even more interesting it takes place here in Seattle.  And to take it to whole new level of interesting...this main dude in the story has some special room.  As in a special room where he and the lady friend get it on like donkey kong.  Seriously, from what I understand, the dude is a little freaky.  I haven't read the book, because it seems to be something that should be my wife and E.L. James' little secret (and the other billion women who have read it).  So I am speculating here, but Mr. Super Freak has every woman in America swooning over his kinky moves.  It is as if all the women who read 50 Shades of Grey are slightly disturbed and yet very turned on all at the same time.  It is as if they are saying, it hurts so good.  See I told you...it's super freaky.    

So men what does this tell us?  What does this tell us about women in America, and possibly around the world?  Why are they obsessed with this book?  I believe the answer is something that most men don’t want to hear.  Don’t worry guys, I don’t think most of our women want us to buy a silver tie and restrain them (probably prefer yellow), but they want more than they are getting in the bedroom.  I believe that many women in America are in relationships where they feel like they are being starved of romance, intimacy, and yes…wild passionate nights where things get a little freaky.  The number of women I have heard complain about their husband’s lack of sexual creativity and interest is alarming (this happens in counseling sessions not random conversations).   

Men, I'm almost 46 years-old so please know I'm preaching to myself here as well, but I think we better wake up the 25 year-old within.  If not for us...for our wives.  Don't misunderstand me and think I'm saying we have to be ready to go ten times a day (boy those were the days weren't they), but we need to at least be ready!  I think we need to adopt the great words of the love master.  I'm talking about the one and only Toby Keith:

I ain't as good as I once was
I got a few years on me now
But there was a time back in my prime

When I could really lay it down
And if you need some love tonight
Then I might have just enough
I ain't as good as I once was
But I'm as good once as I ever was

It is time that we become the man of the house, and that means bringing back some romance and adventure to our relationships.  What we used to get em is what we need to use to keep em.

Transforming,

Tony Russell, MA, LMHC

Thank You!

Thank you to the many who subscribed to my blog today...it really does mean a lot to me.  My desire is to write a brief note of encouragement daily.  Please forgive me if you get random updates at first, because I am still learning to use some of the blog software.

Tony

Half Full

I have admitted many times that positive thinking and having a positive attitude are not always things that come naturally to me.  So I work very hard on trying to see the glass half full.  It isn't that I'm being fake...I honestly want to be a very positive person.  I think it makes us feel better, look better, and it sure makes other people more attracted to us.  However, I'm afraid that most of us don't have a realistic view of what we are projecting to others.  So here is what I want you to do.  Ask those who will be honest with you the following question, "Do you see me as the half full or half empty type of person?"

Because what I have realized is that just because I'm feeling it doesn't mean other people are seeing it.  It by the way is the positive vibe...the positive energy that feeds the souls of others around us!  We have to be careful that we don't come off as the shady salesman, but we need to project a positive attitude. 

Transforming,

Tony Russell, MA, LMHC

www.TalkToTony.org